KATHRYN VAN BEEK
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Win an Awesome Zine pack

28/1/2017

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Win this zine pack
Sign up to my mailing list to receive infrequent but interesting news, and you'll go in the draw to WIN a zine pack worth $45! The zines include:
  • Naughty Pussy: A selection of obscure Auckland rock n roll posters (professionally printed)
  • Khartoum Place, an illustrated short story (professionally printed)
  • Over the Edge, a collection of illustrated flash fiction (professionally printed)
  • The Lucky Numbers, an illustrated short story (professionally printed)
  • Ghosts, an illustrated short story (old school photocopy)
I'll send the zine pack to the winner wherever you are in the world. So what are you waiting for - sign up and set yourself up for an evening of free reading!

Click here to sign up.
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Time to get published!

19/1/2017

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Bruce the Cat picture book
In this image, Kate has just returned home with the kitten.
I've finally finished all the illustrations for the Bruce the Cat picture book!

The children's book is a fictionalised account of how I found my famous cat Bruce. In the book it is a young girl called Kate who finds Bruce and takes him home. The illustrations are based on real places in Port Chalmers, Dunedin. 

The images are currently being scanned, and I am working on a publishing plan, and a Kickstarter funding plan, as we speak!

Excuse all the exclamation marks, but it is very exciting. 

!!!!!!!!!

Stay tuned for updates!
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make your cat famous in five easy steps

18/1/2017

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It’s New Year’s resolution time and many of you will have resolved to make your cat famous this year. But how should you go about it? I happen to have a famous cat, and today I’m sharing all my insider secrets. 

​1.    Make sure your cat has an angle. Does your cat look weird? Was it found under unusual circumstances? Is it disabled? If the answer to all these questions is no, dye it pink.

2.    Ensure your cat is photogenic. If your pet’s reflection breaks mirrors, consider cosmetic surgery. Alternatively, being the world’s ugliest moggie could be your cat’s point of difference. Go for broke and shave it too (an electric razor works best). 

3.    Train your cat. Get it to do something that most other cats don’t. Take it surfing, take it horse-riding, take it bungee jumping. Whichever of these activities it hates least can become its ‘thing’. 

4.    Get your cat a pet. What is cuter than a cat? A cat that’s friends with a duckling. Get your cat a duckling. 

5.    Try alternative channels. Let’s face it – almost all cats are across almost all social media platforms these days. To stand out from the clowder you need to do something different. Try billboards, skywriting or making your cat wear a sandwich board.*  

Now that you’ve made your cat famous you can sit back and watch the benefits of having a famous cat come rolling in. These include:

1.    Career development. Under what other circumstances would you spend hours working out how to create print-on-demand merchandise, add an online store to Facebook, create animated gifs or source copyright-free music for your homemade videos? Add these skills to your LinkedIn profile. They will translate well to the workplace and you will become a sought-after employee. 

2.    A tidy home. You never know when the opportunity to take a cute photo may present itself. You won’t want to ruin any potential masterpieces with a messy background. Invest in a tool belt so you can carry a duster and a damp cloth on you at all times. 

3.    A healthy sex life. Who wouldn’t want to shack up with someone who spends their evenings tweeting their cat’s every move? (Top tip: date vets and pet food sales reps to reduce your cat-related outgoings.)

4.    Untold riches. Thanks to your cat’s YouTube videos, you may receive a payment of up to two figures from Google. (You can use this to pay your Facebook advertising bill.) 

5.    Filling in the hours until death. What better way to while away the hours between now and your demise than by Instagramming, Tweeting and Facebooking photos of your cat?

*Please do not follow any of this advice.

My famous cat, Bruce, has never been dyed and is not friends with a duckling.  

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Images via Google, labelled for reuse. 
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    Kathryn van Beek

    Author

    A graduate of UNITEC’s School of Performing and Screen Arts (BA) and Victoria University’s Institute of Modern Letters (MA), Kathryn is a published playwright who has won several Playmarket and Fringe Festival awards.

    An accomplished short story writer, Kathryn is the author of short story collection
    Pet, and the winner of the Mindfood Short Story Competition and the Headland Short Story Prize.

    Kathryn has written several zines, a podcast, a web series, and a number of articles for outlets such as The Spinoff. She has also written and illustrated two children's books about her rescue cat, Bruce. 


    Sign up to receive infrequent but interesting news. 

    Follow Kathryn on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. 

    I am also hoping to put the power of the pen to good use by advocating for better miscarriage information and support. Click here for details.

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